Jacob's turn

We celebrated Charlie's birthday a week early since Jacob leaves for Haiti next weekend (on Charlie's birthday actually). I am so excited/sad/nervous/happy and a million other emotions about Jacob going to Haiti. He's finally going to get to meet the children I fell in love with back in March. Especially Lucien. We have read a bible story to Charlie every night followed by her bedtime prayers. We pray that the Lord would protect her innocence and health. That He would keep her safe through the night and that He would help us raise her in a way that honors and pleases Him. We also tell her all about Lucien and pray for him. That he would know how much we love him and that he and his "brothers and sisters" at the orphanage would be safe and sleep well and know that we think about him. 

I can't help but be a little jealous that Jacob gets to go and I don't! I have this stupid fear that Lucien won't remember me. How selfish right? Shouldn't it be that I worry that Lucien remembers and comes to know Jesus? I of course want that for Lucien AND for my Charlie girl. (and for the rest of the sweet babies in Haiti for that matter). I daydream all the time about finally getting to go back over to Haiti and the House of Abraham and embracing that little boy in my arms. What if he's like "hey, crazy lady, who are you and why are you squeezing the crap out me?" So, I'm sending him a letter and a picture of me with him via Jacob. It's amazing that spending just a few days with someone can make such an impact! I'm still rooting on him going to Ole Miss one day since we live so close to Oxford!

People have asked why we aren't considering adopting him if we feel so strongly about him. We have prayed about it, and we don't feel like we are supposed to. I don't feel like I am called to be Lucien's mommy. I feel like I'm supposed to be a part of his life and help him know Jesus and live his life for God. Jacob and I plan to make trips every year to Haiti to maintain relationships with Lucien and all of the other kids at the HoA and eventually take Charlie with us one day - a long time from now. :)

So - to the point of the post, since I get so sidetracked - pray for Jacob and the rest of the team going to Haiti. I've been, so I know how different scary it can be. He won't have his handy iphone to be able to just call or text if he needs something. He won't understand the language (except for "hi, my name is," "how are you," and "thank you"). Pray that the will get a multitude of opportunity to share the gospel! Pray that they get a huge amount of work done on the new House of Abraham. Pray that they remember why they are there and that they would be the Hands and Feet of a most incredible Savior!

*And if all of that isn't enough to pray for, pray that I would be strong as I send my husband off to a foreign country on  my baby girl's first birthday! Jacob is my rock and I will miss him so much while he's gone since I most likely won't be able to talk to him at all. I'm already looking forward to seeing him walk run down that corridor at the Airport to his two girls!! BUT we aren't called to be comfortable or to have constant communication. We are called to do the work of God and tell all the nations about Jesus's love and mercy!

Thanks for the prayers, for the support, and for reading this silly blog that I still can't figure out how to put pictures on!

S

Charlie Girl

I can't believe it's been over 6 months since I went to Haiti and wrote on this blog thing! I also can't believe that it's almost been a YEAR since my sweet Charlie Grace was born. And even more than that, I can't believe that I haven't even introduced the blog world to her! She's pretty much amazing. If I knew how to upload pictures onto this dumb blog I would. ARRRG.


Once upon a time, not so long ago, Jacob and I found out we were going to have a baby! When we found out we were having a little girl, I screamed this most excited scream. I couldn't believe it. I was going to have a little girl! A sugar and spice and everything nice daughter that I could dress up and teach how to dance and play pat-a-cake with and she would wear tutu's and bows and twirl and we would be best friends. October 27th was our due date. That day, Jacob and I walked around TWO malls and even had spicy chili for dinner. We finally decided that I would be pregnant forever and went to bed around 11:45. After tossing and turning, I get comfy in bed and feel this sudden urge to pee. Ran to the bathroom and my water breaks (it's 12:01 am). I yell for Jacob to call my mom while I called the hospital. I wasn't having contractions but since my water broke, I was told to go straight to the hospital. We called all of our families and told them to head to the hospital too. We got checked in and settled into the room and I still wasn't having contractions. They let me know it would most likely be "a while." Lord have mercy was it! NINETEEN hours and an epidural later - including an hour and a half of pushing - we finally met our perfect 8lb10oz baby girl. She was beautiful. I don't remember much about that night. I was so out of it, the dr had to wake me up between pushes! It took them a while to do all of the post-pushing-a-baby-out stuff and then they let family come back to the room. Luckily I have a picture of everyone who was there because I have NO memory of this.

We finally made it to the recovery room where I would spend the next few days. The nurse took Charlie to the nursery for the night and it was just me and Jacob. He fell asleep pretty quick and I dozed on and off. In between naps, I cried - and cried - and cried. I couldn't picture Charlie's face. I couldn't remember holding her. I didn't remember having that instant connection all moms talk about having the first time they see their babies!! The next morning, as early as I thought I could get away with, I called my mom. I needed her right then. She could tell I wasn't ok and rushed to me. We told Jacob to go down and get some food so we could be alone. I broke down in my momma's arms. I told her exactly how I was feeling and how awful I must be. She paged the nurse and had them bring in Charlie and said that I just needed to see her. It's so true that momma's know best. I held my baby for the first time -with a clear, non-drugged mind. It was instant. My life changed in that second. I had THAT feeling that mothers always talk about. That indescribable feeling of loving someone else so much it almost hurts. After feeling her in my belly for 9 months and dreaming about what she would look like or what that tiny cry would sound like she was finally here. In my arms! Some people say holding a baby spoils them - well screw that! I never wanted to put her down. I would just stare at her and smile. She was perfect and beautiful and so incredible. Best part about it, is that she was MINE (and Jacob's too I guess, ha). 

All that to say - our Charlie Grace was born at 7:45 pm on October 28th. She has been our joy this past year and we adore her. Jacob and I have the privilege of being the parents God chose for this little girl. We get to teach her and watch her grow. We read her bible stories and pray over her every night. Thank you Jesus for blessing us with her.

She is a happy little girl. She laughs and smiles all the time! She knows how to say "da-da," "me-me," "no, no, no," "ma-ma," "bi-da," (we think that's big dad), and a million other little noises. She meow's at our cat TJ. and shakes her head no and then giggles. She whistles when you ask her to - it's the most adorable thing anyone has ever seen. Seriously, how many babies whistle on command? She plays pat-a-cake and waves bye-bye.

She marches to her own drum. Well, she dances to her own drum. Play a beat, and the girl gets down! She may look just like her daddy, but luckily she's got her momma's rhythm! She doesn't have a single tooth in her head, which is ok by me! I'm going to miss that toothless smile one day. She pulls up and walks if you're holding on to that hand, but refuses to walk alone. I'm ok with that one too. If the girl wants to hold my hand until she's grown it'll be fine by me! I'm still holding on to my momma's hand!

Happy birthday sweet Charlie Grace. Your daddy and I adore you to pieces and we love you to the moon and back.